CALM THE ALARM
We settle the threat response that drives the commentary – in session, not with worksheets. Most women feel some relief by the end of session one.
WOMEN’S SPECIALIST PSYCHOTHERAPIST Private Online Therapy · Brisbane-Based Negative self-talk. A critic in your head? Here’s who it really is.
If there’s a running commentary telling you you’re stupid, lazy, too much or not enough – and it sounds like the truth – this page is for you. That voice was never yours. You learned it, and what was learned can change.
BOOK A PRIVATE CONSULTATION35+ five-star Google reviews · Some relief by the end of your very first session
★★★★★
“I would highly recommend Sarah to anyone seeking to address unconscious patterns and beliefs to improve their lives and relationships. The result was greater clarity, more confidence, and a much lighter sense of being!”
Sal F. · Google Review
WHAT IT IS
Negative self-talk is an old voice, playing on repeat.
It’s the automatic, inner commentary that judges what you do before anyone else can. It tends to be fast, absolute and cruel – and because it’s been there so long, it rarely gets questioned.
- Name-callingIdiot. Useless. Pathetic. Words you’d never use on anyone else.
- Mind-reading‘They think I’m boring.’ ‘She’s annoyed with me.’ Stated as fact.
- All-or-nothingOne mistake and the whole thing – the day, the project, you – is a failure.
- Pre-emptive strikesCriticising yourself first so no one else can get there before you.
- ComparisonEveryone else is coping, achieving, managing. Why can’t you?
- ShouldsShould be further along. Should be over it. Should be able to handle this.
WHAT CAUSES IT
You didn’t invent that voice. You absorbed it.
Nobody is born with a cruel inner critic. It is the internalised voice of someone – a parent, a teacher, a partner, a culture – whose judgement once mattered for your safety. Your nervous system learned to run that judgement ahead of time, so you could correct yourself before you were corrected.
The conscious brain · Prefrontal cortex
Where you try to answer back.
You can challenge the thought, reframe it, write a kinder one in a journal. It helps for an hour. Then the original plays again, because it was never a thought to begin with.
The subconscious brain · Limbic system
Where the voice is stored.
Self-talk is a conditioned response: a feeling of threat, with words attached. Until the threat underneath is resolved, the words keep coming – which is why my treatment works here.
WHY THIS IS HAPPENING TO YOU
The critic was trying to keep you safe.
If you grew up where love or approval were conditional, criticising yourself first was a clever strategy. It kept you alert, careful and acceptable. If you’ve been in a relationship where you were belittled or gaslit, the voice may have arrived later – and sounds remarkably like the person who did it.
Either way, the critic is not evidence of a flaw. It is a protective pattern that has outlived its usefulness. It is loud because it thinks it’s still needed.
That is also why arguing with it doesn’t work. You can’t win a debate with a smoke alarm. You have to resolve what set it off.
There is nothing wrong with you. Your system is on high alert, trying to protect you. It can learn to stand down.
IS RECOVERY POSSIBLE?
Yes. The voice can go quiet – and stay quiet.
When the experiences that installed the critic are resolved, it loses its reason to run. The commentary thins, then stops, and a steadier voice takes its place. That is what a Bespoke Therapy Program is built to do.
RESOLVE WHERE THE VOICE CAME FROM
Using attachment-focused EMDR and other proven methods, the experiences that taught you to speak to yourself this way are processed and filed as past.
REBUILD A VOICE THAT’S YOURS
With the critic quiet, we rebuild self-trust, confidence and a way of speaking to yourself that you’d be happy for your daughter to inherit.
Every program is written for you, session by session, with the result each one is working towards agreed before we begin – and progress measured as we go.
YOUR NEXT STEP · BRISBANE AND WORLDWIDE
Ready when you are...
Let’s change the voice in your head.
Book your private 15-minute consultation. We’ll talk about what’s been going on, and exactly how I can help you resolve it.
No pressure and no obligation – just an honest conversation about what’s possible for you.
I work with no more than 10 women at a time. Book your private consultation today.
BOOK A PRIVATE CONSULTATION RETURNING CLIENTSBy phone or online. No referral or mental health plan required.
35+ five-star Google reviews
