WOMEN’S SPECIALIST PSYCHOTHERAPIST Private Online Therapy · Worldwide · Brisbane-Based Client resources. The 10 personality disorders, at a glance.
A brief, plain-language overview of each personality disorder: what it looks like, the agenda underneath it, and what it can feel like to be close to someone who has it. Each one links to a full guide, including how to encourage help without the drama.
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| Type | The core pattern | What it can feel like to be close to them |
|---|---|---|
| ParanoidCluster A | Distrust and suspicion of other people’s motives | Being questioned, doubted or accused; feeling you’re always on trial |
| SchizoidCluster A | Detachment from relationships; a narrow emotional range | Loneliness inside the relationship; reaching out and getting little back |
| SchizotypalCluster A | Unusual beliefs and perceptions; discomfort with closeness | Worry about where their thinking is heading; feeling you can’t reach them |
| AntisocialCluster B | Disregard for other people’s rights; little remorse | Being lied to and used; fear, financial loss, chaos |
| Borderline (BPD)Cluster B | Emotional intensity and a deep fear of abandonment | Walking on eggshells; being idealised, then devalued; crisis after crisis |
| HistrionicCluster B | Attention-seeking and dramatic emotional expression | Exhaustion; feeling like a supporting act; drama that never ends |
| Narcissistic (NPD)Cluster B | Grandiosity, need for admiration, lack of empathy | Feeling small, blamed, confused; love that depends on admiration |
| AvoidantCluster C | Longing for connection, held back by fear of rejection | Watching them miss out; feeling you can’t get close |
| DependentCluster C | An intense need to be looked after | Being leaned on for everything; guilt whenever you step back |
| Obsessive-compulsive (OCPD)Cluster C | Perfectionism, rigidity and a need for control | Never doing it right; living by their rules; no room to relax |
CLUSTER A · ODD OR ECCENTRIC
Distrust, detachment and unusual thinking.
- Paranoid personality disorderA long-standing distrust of other people, and a belief that they mean harm, even without good reason.The agenda: To protect themselves from being harmed, tricked or humiliated.READ THE FULL GUIDE ▸
- Schizoid personality disorderA long-standing preference for solitude, with little interest in close relationships and a quiet, flat emotional range.The agenda: To be left alone.READ THE FULL GUIDE ▸
- Schizotypal personality disorderDiscomfort with close relationships, alongside unusual beliefs, odd perceptions and eccentric behaviour.The agenda: To stay safe from people, who feel confusing and threatening, while making sense of the world through private meanings that feel true to them.READ THE FULL GUIDE ▸
CLUSTER B · DRAMATIC, EMOTIONAL OR ERRATIC
Intense emotions, impulsiveness and turbulent relationships.
- Antisocial personality disorderA long-standing disregard for other people’s rights and feelings: lying, rule-breaking, aggression and little remorse.The agenda: To get what they want, when they want it, and never be controlled.READ THE FULL GUIDE ▸
- Borderline personality disorderIntense emotions, a deep fear of abandonment, unstable relationships and sense of self, and impulsive behaviour.The agenda: Not to be abandoned.READ THE FULL GUIDE ▸
- Histrionic personality disorderA long-standing need to be the centre of attention, with dramatic, rapidly shifting emotions.The agenda: To be noticed.READ THE FULL GUIDE ▸
- Narcissistic personality disorderGrandiosity, a deep need for admiration and a lack of empathy, often protecting a fragile sense of worth underneath.The agenda: To protect a special self-image.READ THE FULL GUIDE ▸
CLUSTER C · ANXIOUS OR FEARFUL
Fear, worry and a need for control or reassurance.
- Avoidant personality disorderWanting connection but avoiding it, out of an intense fear of criticism, rejection or embarrassment.The agenda: To avoid rejection and humiliation.READ THE FULL GUIDE ▸
- Dependent personality disorderAn intense need to be looked after, with clinging behaviour, difficulty making decisions and fear of being left alone.The agenda: To be looked after, and never be left to cope alone.READ THE FULL GUIDE ▸
- Obsessive-compulsive personality disorderA rigid need for order, perfection and control, at the cost of flexibility, warmth and getting things finished.The agenda: To stay in control and get it right.READ THE FULL GUIDE ▸
WHY “AGENDA”?
Seeing the agenda changes everything.
Dr Gregory Lester teaches that every personality disorder is organised around an agenda: a core need that stays the same whatever the situation, and drives how the person sees you and responds to you. Once you can see the agenda, the behaviour starts to make sense, and you can stop taking it so personally.
The agendas above are my plain-English summaries. Each full guide explains it in more depth, along with what it’s easily confused with and how to raise it with someone you love.
WORRIED ABOUT SOMEONE YOU LOVE?
Before you say anything, read this.
Understanding the pattern is the first step out of it.
WHERE THIS INFORMATION COMES FROM
Sources.
This page draws on Australian health services, the diagnostic manual clinicians use (DSM-5-TR), and Dr Gregory Lester’s training on personality disorders.
- Personality disordershealthdirect AustraliaWhat personality disorders are, the main types, and where to get help in Australia.
- Project Air Strategy for Personality DisordersUniversity of WollongongAustralian information, guidelines and family and carer resources for personality disorders.
- SANESANE AustraliaInformation, peer support and counselling for people affected by complex mental health issues, including personality disorders.
- Gregory Lester, PhD: speaker profilePESIDr Lester’s background, including his 2,000+ personality disorder trainings and his role as an original research site for the DSM-5 personality disorders revision.
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