CAN I ACT ON IT NOW?
If yes, do the smallest next step. If not, go to the next question.
WOMEN’S SPECIALIST PSYCHOTHERAPIST Private Online Therapy · Worldwide · Brisbane-Based Client resources. Stuck in your head? Here’s the way out.
Replaying conversations, second-guessing decisions, running every worst case? Overthinking feels like problem-solving. Here’s why it rarely solves anything, and how to step out of the loop.
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WHY THE LOOP KEEPS GOING
It isn’t about the problem. It’s about the feeling.
The loop isn’t really about the thing you’re thinking about. It’s your mind trying to make an unsafe feeling in your body go away by thinking harder.
But the unsafe feeling comes from your nervous system, not from the problem. So no amount of thinking settles it, and your mind keeps trying.
USEFUL THINKING OR A LOOP?
Know the difference.
- Useful thinkingMoves forward. It ends in a decision, a plan or an action.
- A loopCircles back to the same place. It leaves you more anxious and no clearer.
- The tellIf you’ve had the same thought three times without a new idea, you’re in a loop.
IF YOU NEED SOMETHING RIGHT NOW
The three-question check.
When you notice yourself looping, ask:
WHEN’S THE RIGHT TIME?
Give it a time – “Tomorrow at 10, with a coffee” – and write it down.
WHAT DOES MY BODY NEED?
Often it’s a few slow breaths, a glass of water, a walk, or noticing your feet on the floor.
OTHER WAYS OUT
Interrupt the loop.
- Write it, don’t think itGetting it onto paper takes it out of your head, and often shows how repetitive it is.
- Change your stateMovement, cold air on your face or stepping outside can interrupt a loop faster than any argument with it.
- Choose good-enoughFor everyday decisions, pick the option that’s good enough and move on. Overthinking often hides a fear of getting it wrong.
COPING OR RESOLVING?
You shouldn’t have to keep coping with this.
Coping tools can help you get through a moment. They don’t change why it keeps happening.
My work is different. I don’t teach coping techniques. In session, we work on the patterns driving the symptom – the alarm underneath, and what set it off – with the aim of resolving it, so you’re not left managing it for the rest of your life.
You’re not too much in your head. Your system is trying to feel safe. It can learn to settle.
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